We’re going to be in 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

Once again, we’ve got families out with COVID, or some families are traveling and whatnot.

And I was thinking about this while I was standing in the back. I think sometimes it can be discouraging, even when for legitimate reasons, attendance is down on a Sunday. And I think you start trying to gauge success, and you start trying to analyze your church’s health through a worldly lens, and things like that. But I think the Lord just reminded me that even if there was one of you in here, it would be worthwhile to come here and hear the Word.

God is faithful to the remnant. God has not thrown off His work in salvation. God has not left. His work to be undone, because maybe only a few come. The Lord is faithful if one shows up. I think about being saved from Sodom and Gomorrah. Like, well, what about if there’s this many people? What about this many people? And then you dwindle down to a handful, and the Lord is still faithful to save. And so that’s just a side note. I was just reminded of that this morning. And so again, I know a lot of people are out because they’re either sick or traveling. But it’s just a good reminder. That our success is not based on numerical values or anything like that. So, thank you, Lord. You’ve been good to us.

1 Corinthians chapter 7.

Here’s the Word of God. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer. But then come. Together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Amen. Amen. To the married, I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest, I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean. But as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Kind of a one-two punch on marriage and God’s definition of it. And we saw Pastor Chad preached a couple weeks ago how sexual immorality was just rampant in Corinth. And he is diagnosing that and addressing that. And so it seems that there is that camp where people were just diving headlong into indulging in it. And then there’s another camp. Evidently, some of the people in Corinth wrote to Paul a letter because he addresses it in verse 1. He says, Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. And so it seems that this other camp had the idea that, well, maybe we should just abstain altogether. So let’s not have any relations with women or women with men at all. Let’s just cut it out altogether. And Paul says, That is a good thing. And here’s why he says that. Because if you don’t tie yourself to a family, you are free to serve the Lord in a greater capacity than someone who does have a wife and children. I now have obligations as a husband and as a father to tend to my family, to take care of them. And they take up a large amount of my time. And that’s okay. That’s a good thing. Paul’s not saying it’s not good to be married. But he is saying that, you know, if… If that’s possible for you, then you can do that. But… He says, But because of sexual immorality. And we saw a little bit last week. What’s the big deal with sexual immorality? And I think the main issue, and it was addressed. Pastor Chad did it. And it was beautiful. And so I just want to reiterate it shortly, briefly. It is a heinous thing. It is an offensive thing to God. Because it defies… It defies His definition of it. It flies in the face of the institution of marriage of one man and one woman. Certainly for Christians, because you are now joining the body of Christ to a prostitute. It is offensive to God. It is… As we saw in the previous passage, it’s on a greater level to a degree. All sin is deserving of death, right? But… But… He says that all other sins are committed outside of the body. But this one in particular is on a more serious level. It’s committed inside of the body. And so it deserves a greater amount of attention.

So that’s number one, why it is such a big deal. It is offensive to God. Two, it has practical implications in our relationships here. Immorality… Immorality causes all sorts of issues. Because God has given the marriage to be a covering and a shelter for the family,

it tears it down and it defiles it and it destroys everything that it was meant to be. For example, I read this stat from the CDC this past week that abortions… 85.5% of all abortions from 2010 to 2019 were among unmarried women. That’s not a small, insignificant difference. That’s not a… Well, you know, it’s a coin toss. That’s heavily skewed towards that side of things, towards the unmarried people. 85.5%. So think about how many… How many murders are being committed because of sexual immorality. And we talked about money is the root of all sorts of evil. Sexual immorality is obviously the root of all sorts of evil as well. It doesn’t stop there. It’s not just an act that is in isolation from other things. It has implications and it has this domino effect that causes destruction on and on and on.

I won’t go into any details, but I want to testify to you personally that I know firsthand that sexual immorality is terrible and it has long-lasting effects on your mind. As I was just thinking through these things the past couple weeks, talking with Rebecca on it, certainly at the beginning of our marriage, but we’ve been married for 11 years now, these things still haunt my dreams. They haunt my mind. They haunt my relationship. And my wife and I are committed to one another, but I can’t erase them. And so I bear the burden of it. I believe that the Lord has forgiven me and that He’s cleansed me of that sin. I believe that He’s renewed me and redeemed me, but I still bear the consequences on this side of glory. And so it’s not just that, well, yeah, I did that and that’s done. That’s in the past. I wish that were the case, but I can’t. I can’t forget about… And so it has implications far greater and far beyond just the act of sexual immorality. It ruins lives.

So here’s the big idea that I want to give to you today. That God’s antidote to the deadly disease of sexual immorality is marriage.

And I’m going to refer to sexual immorality in phrases like that deadly disease on purpose because I think we should have in our minds how offensive and how terrible and how horrible it is. So God’s antidote to the deadly disease of sexual immorality is marriage.

Let me expand that a little bit and then I’m going to touch on a few of these aspects of this phrase here. So let me expand it. When there is either a present or a perceived threat to the vital organs of our lives, more specifically, the aspects most consequential to and demonstrative of our relational standing with God, number one. Number two, our threats to our ability and willingness to rightly assess the matters and affections of our hearts. Number three, our effectiveness in kingdom work. If there is a threat to those things and God has provided an antidote to such a threat, we must take care to administer it at once and with great attention to His instructions.

So Paul says, because of sexual immorality, a man should have his own wife and a woman should have her own husband. I want to point out the word should there. It’s an imperative verb. It’s not a, hey, you should do that. Like, that’s Chase’s opinion. Well, and then, you know, you take your own. Well, I may or may not. Paul says you should. In other words, you must. It’s a command. It is an imperative verb. You have no choice in it. If it, and this is, so yes, it’s okay for a man not to have relations with a woman, but the normative,

that’s the exception, okay? The normative approach is because of sexual immorality, you should get married. And again, it’s a command. Leon Morris in his commentary says this, in the face of such temptation, each should be married. Should have is an imperative, a command, not a permission.

So marriage, when applied correctly, it is a healing balm on the festering boils of sexual immorality. Rebecca pointed out how that was graphic and nasty sounding, and it is and it should be. It should be, you should flare up your nostrils a little bit, festering boils. We shouldn’t sugarcoat the issue of sexual immorality. It’s not something that should be painted in a soft light. It should be described very specifically what it is and what is such a big deal about it.

So marriage, when applied correctly, it’s a healing balm to those festering boils of sexual immorality. And Paul is going to give us a few specific instructions on how this marriage should look and how if you don’t apply the marriage in this way, it’s not going to work like it should. It’s not going to be the remedy that God has designed it to be because you’re not following the instructions, right? Point number one, it must be mutually exclusive. Paul says each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband. There’s no room for polyamorous relationships. There’s no room for multiple, a multi-dynamic thing going on here in any capacity.

Bruce Winter in his commentary says this, the wife’s body is not her personal property and neither is the man’s body. Once he is married, he must not engage in sexual intercourse with another woman. It is not possible to find another reference in the literature of the ancient world which teaches that the husband surrenders his body exclusively to his wife on marriage. Christianity is exclusive on this issue. No one else has the priorities that God has here. He says you can’t find it anywhere else in literature. They were giving themselves up to whatever passions and lusts they wanted. But God says not so. It shouldn’t be this way. And I think maybe in these walls, we would all agree with that, right? Like, well, of course. I have my wife and she has me and we’re not out and about, you know, having other friends and other things going on. And you should, and I praise God for that. That’s not necessarily the case in our culture. It’s not the case right here in this city. We’re a very diverse city for sure. There are so many philosophies and worldviews and just approaches to life and most of them are just live and live it up, you know? And that’s terrible. And so what that does, though, is you begin to be steeped in that culture and you’re steeped in that environment. And those things begin to make their way into the walls of the church, into the walls of your family, into the walls of your mind, into the walls of your heart. And so, you know, you begin to compromise, maybe not in the fullest sense, as in you go all the way and have some relationship with somebody that you shouldn’t, but you compromise in a way that is just as offensive to God. And Jesus says that if you’ve lusted after a woman in your heart, you’ve committed adultery already, right? So, let us be aware of all the threats and the enemies around us. Let us be aware of what we’re watching on TV. It is no small thing to indulge in a movie and you know you shouldn’t be watching it. It is no small thing to indulge your eyes and your mind to an image and let yourself commit adultery there. Again, it is just as offensive to God. And it is just as heinous. And if you allow that to happen once and then it happens again, it’s going to lead to a lot of harm. And it’s going to lead to a lot of harm. To the ultimate…

It’s going to lead to the greater thing, right? The real thing. So, don’t do that. Be on guard about the things that are coming into your mind. And I think, too, we have this very sterilized medical culture. And so, well, I can use protection and then no consequences are going to happen. So, I’ll be good. Maybe no one’s going to find out about it. Even if my spouse is aware of it, we won’t have any visual evidence or anything like that coming about. So, it’ll be fine. I was at the training at the pregnancy center this past week and said something that was profound to me. He said, contraceptives, protection, cannot guard your heart. Like, you can guard the reproduction all you want. You can’t guard your heart with those things.

So, again, marriage is mutually exclusive with both your body and your mind.

You can’t be walking down the street and even for two seconds allow your mind to indulge in looking at something that is not yours. You have your own wife. You have your own husband. You can’t indulge the flesh in even the smallest degree because, again, those little seeds are going to sprout up and then they’re going to be these big massive trees one day providing shade from God’s indignation on you and God’s conviction of you and you’re just going to be sitting happy under that shade tree just frolicking in it. And it’s going to result in death.

It’s mutually, exclusive. Number two, it must be held on to as something of great value.

He says that each man should have his own wife. There’s a sense of ownership. Not like your wife is property. Not like your husband is property. But that’s mine. I recognize the great worth and value in this thing. And so I’m going to go to any length to protect it.

You must own the relationship that you have in your marriage. You think about Jesus. Jesus has joined Himself to His church and He takes great ownership of it and He’s going to stop at no length to present her holy and blameless in the last days. He’s going to go to whatever length He has to and He’s already demonstrated that by dying on the cross for us. So you must do everything and anything necessary to protect that prized possession. The possession that you have in your spouse is something of great value that’s yours. You can’t let anyone else come in and try to steal their mind, try to steal their innocence in your marriage. You can’t allow those things to enter into your home. Certainly not us husbands. We have the duty to protect our home, what goes on in there, what’s talked about in there, who comes in there, what movies are seen, what songs are listened to, all of it. You have the duty to protect something so great of value. It’s your wife.

Don’t let media steal her from you.

It must be mutually nurtured. So again, this isn’t an exhaustive

sermon on marriage and all of that. It’s all of the different aspects of it. It’s more specific to the most intimate part of it, the inner workings of the marriage. And so it’s mutually nurtured in this way. Me as a husband, I am the head over my wife. So I have a certain authority and responsibility over her. And likewise to her, she has certain responsibilities and things towards me and just roles in our home. Those things are different. We’re not the same. We’re different in our roles and responsibilities, our level of authority. But we’re 100% equal on how much we should be attentive to and giving toward one another in the inner workings of our marriage. In the most intimate part, in the personal workings of our relationships, we are on the same playing field here. We’re on a level playing. I owe everything to my wife. And she owes everything to me. My body is not my own. I can’t make decisions about my body, what I put into it, what I watch, what I do. I can’t make those things separate from my wife. She has all authority to tell me what those things are going to be. And I have the authority to tell her what those things are going to be. We’re mutual on that level. Because whenever we got married, we became one flesh. It’s no longer just her body. It’s mine. And I am no longer just mine. I’m hers.

And certainly, whenever we come into, again, the most intimate part of our marriage, I need to be aware of the things I do to nurture that. I need to be aware of the things I say to build my wife up, to make her feel loved, to make her feel loved. To make her feel beautiful. I need to be aware of the things that I am giving to my wife and make sure that I am giving them to her. I need to know what those things are. And she needs to know what those are for me.

I can’t have a selfish mindset in marriage. If I live my life seeking to please Chase and my wife is just an instrument to relieve my whatever temptations I have, it’s going to end in disaster. That’s not what Paul has in mind here when he says that we don’t have authority over one another’s bodies. He means that

I must love my wife.

And she must love me with all that she is.

It’s not a formality, our marriage. It’s a very personal, intimate thing that must be taken care of. I think it’s fitting that they call

husbandry when you’re taking care of plants. You have to be attentive to their needs. You have to know what they’re lacking. What minerals? I started a fish tanker. I started a fish tank again last month and I’m sitting there watching my plants and there are different signs. Like if the leaves are yellowing in this degree or they got holes in them. It’ll tell you what it’s missing. Potassium or nitrogen or calcium or whatever. These things matter. You have to feed the plants what they need for them to survive and grow and be healthy. You want some old ragged melting plants in your fish tank, Mr. Chris? No, I don’t. And I certainly don’t want my wife to be ragging and melting away while I’m doing my job. I’m over here just serving myself.

I have to be selfless and loving my wife and she must be the same towards me.

And finally, it must be complete.

Paul says, don’t deprive one another. The word means to defraud. You owe your spouse certain things in a marriage. Paul says very clearly, do not defraud one another of this. And I think there are various reasons. Well, my back hurts today. Well, I’ve had a long day at work. Both of us, on both sides, right? I understand that there are things that go on in life and we are tired and we are stressed and frustrated. And I’m not about to give you no prescription on any details on this. But it must happen in order for your marriage to be legitimate. You can’t have a view of marriage without the sex bed in it. You can’t. It must be complete. And Paul even goes, as far as to say this, I will allow, I’ll make the concession for a moment for you to stop but then come back together. And he says, maybe. He says, maybe for prayer. What? Maybe for prayer? Yeah, that’s how serious it is. Because of how serious the issue of sexual immorality is. We must take care to address it and to nurture it

because your soul is dependent on this. He says that Satan will tempt you. Satan is lurking, like a roaring lion is waiting to devour you. And so, again, I understand that there are

certain situations that I don’t know what goes on in your body and your personal life but have an honest assessment of yourself of why you would not

nurture your spouse in this way.

You must take it seriously.

So, marriage is essential to those whom God has not given the strength to remain faithful without it. He says to the unmarried and the widows, I think it’s a good thing for them to remain single. Again, they can devote themselves to kingdom work. They can devote themselves to serving the church. They can devote themselves to godly things and not be distracted with marriage, distracted with the family. Again, he’s not saying one is bad and one is good. He’s saying that the time is right. The time is short and we should be giving everything that we can to kingdom work but because of sexual immorality, that’s not the case for most people. To the unmarried and the widows, it’s good if you stay that way but if you can’t exercise self-control, you should marry and there’s that imperative again. If you can’t have self-control and be self-disciplined in this, you must get married.

We must take a serious self-assessment here if you are married, if you’re not married, if you’re a widow, if you plan to get married, maybe one day and you’re not really sure, you need to take a serious and an honest self-assessment on whether God has or has not gifted you with the ability to do that because it is just that. It is a gifting. It’s not something that you decide on your own that you may or may not do. You don’t have the power over sexual immorality to do that. It’s going to eat you alive. You have to be honest with yourself. I think there are a plethora of reasons that we, you know, as a culture, tell ourselves, well, I might get married, you know, but first I want to kind of take care of these, I want to get through school and, you know, I got this career coming down the pipe, you know, and I’d really like to sort all these things out. Maybe God has set you apart for that short season to do that and I can’t determine that for you. You must determine that with the Lord. And maybe it’s just for that season. Maybe at the end of that season you need to reassess, can I live my whole life without indulging in sexual immorality, without a spouse?

You must get married if you cannot. It’s not a question.

And you have to understand that your soul is at stake. He says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. It is no small thing to give way to sexual immorality, sexual temptations, and you’re going to burn with passion. And I don’t want to act like I know the definitive lines on these things, but if you can resist temptation, it’s not that you will never be tempted. Can you resist it? If you can, you may have that gifting. If not, you need to get married so that you don’t burn with passion. Do you find yourself giving in to lust? Do you find yourself meddling and marinating in those things? You need to address it and take action. Make a plan for yourself.

Marriage is a union that no Christian, should break. Paul here says very plainly, to the married, I give this charge, and then he’s more specific, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Marriage, even though Paul has a preference that you wouldn’t be married, if you are married, it’s still an institution of God and you have to treat it that way.

What God has joined together, let no man be married, let no man tear apart. Remember that you and your wife became one flesh and you entered into a covenant with your wife and it’s not a formality or a simple legal matter. It is a covenant before the eyes of God and he’s addressing Christians specifically in this section and for Christians, we of all people should know the value and the purpose and the intent of marriage. So as Christians, we should not divorce. We should not separate and tear apart what God has joined together.

Jesus in Matthew 19, verse 9, he allows one exception to this and it’s immorality. And I guess Paul didn’t address that here because of why he’s even given this prescription in the first place, right? But Jesus does allow divorce on the basis of sexual immorality and adultery. And that is the only one. And so as Christians, think about this whenever we teach our kids, whenever we have discussions with friends, we’re trying to influence the culture, right? We don’t need to let the culture, well, yeah, you have your truth, that’s fine if you think that way about marriage, but I don’t think people should get divorced. Paul’s very clear. You shouldn’t get a divorce. And so when you have the opportunity to teach and preach and speak on the value and the necessity of marriage, let it be known that this is for life. This is a union between you and your spouse. You become one. And you should not tear it apart.

This is pretty plain. A marriage to a believer is a covenant covering for those who come under it. And it can be an effective weapon in evangelism among the unequally yoked. So I say that marriage to a believer is a covenant covering for those who come under it. Paul says that for someone who, maybe they were both unbelievers and then they got married and then one of them converted to Christianity. Or maybe one was a Christian and he married a pagan. Or an unbeliever. Whatever the case is, you have one married person and one Christian and one non-Christian. The Christian has the godly principle of marriage in view. The Christian knows what it should be. And he says that the Christian should not leave his spouse.

For peace sake, if your spouse is willing to live with you, don’t think that because they are an unbeliever you should shag out and leave them to themselves. Maybe you have kids in this relationship. That does no one good. That’s going to cause a turmoil and certainly not going to bring peace. And he kind of has peace as the overarching principle and guideline for this marriage.

Also, he says that your spouse is, they’re set apart. They’re made holy because of being married to you. And so again, we talked about it, Pastor Chad did, in his previous sermon in Corinthians. There’s some mystery in how you’re joined to Jesus. And we’re made one flesh with him and we’re brought into his body in the same way there’s some mystery in the covenant blessings on a household because there is a believer there. Because I am saved, my family is now under the covenant blessing of a Christian home. My family, my kids, are set apart because they have the opportunity to hear me teach them what marriage is. The value of marriage. They’re brought under the blessings of Christian teaching, Christian thinking, Christian worldviews and mindsets on a practical level and also just on a spiritual level that I don’t think I can really explain or even understand but I believe it’s true. God promised Abraham it’s for you and your seed.

Paul says in the New Testament salvation has come to you and your household. And so when I become a believer somehow, somehow God’s favor is now on my unbelieving spouse, my kids who have not necessarily made a promise in the profession of faith and gone through believer’s baptism. Those things should all happen but in some mysterious way God is showing favor and blessings on those people within the walls of my home. And I think that’s just a wonderful thing. Calvin says it like this, the passage then is a remarkable one and drawn from the depths of theology for it teaches that the children of the pious are set apart from others by a sort of exclusive privilege so as to be reckoned holy in the church.

So

if you’re a believer and you have an unbelieving spouse and they are willing to stay with you, you should stay as a believer. You should pursue to protect that relationship. You should make it your aim to cultivate and nurture a healthy marriage and there’s sort of evangelism isn’t the main goal here but it is a weapon. It can be an effective weapon in evangelism but ultimately it’s a weapon if they want to leave you must let them go because again your main goal here is peace. Paul allows that if you’re a Christian and your unbelieving spouse wants to leave you you should let them go. If you claw and scratch and demand that they stay you’re not going to have a meaningful marriage. You’re not going to have a true marriage where you’re mutually building one another up where you’re mutually taking care of one another’s needs. You should let them go and he says you’re free from that. He says you’re not a slave there and so just take that as a comfort and a comfort if that is you or has been you in the past.

I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she was telling me a story about a couple years ago when my grandpa first started going through some of the health issues he was having that ultimately led to his death back in October but she said that her and a couple of her sisters I won’t mention her name in case she hears it I don’t want her to be mad at me but she said he said they were in the doctor’s office in the hospital and my grandpa had some swelling or something in his legs and they’re sitting in there and the doctor comes in and he’s like he looks good and he’s ready to go and she says

he’s got swelling in his legs that’s not good I know my dad and he shouldn’t have swelling like that and the doctor’s like what? It looks good it might be a little swelling but he’s good to go and she bucks back against him again no I know my dad he should not have that swelling in his legs and the doctor says he says this stay in your lane

I’m the doctor I know if the man’s legs are good or not bring him to somebody else if you want that’s my opinion right? in the same way God is the great physician and he knows exactly what to administer to both make and to keep you well so when it comes to sexual immorality let us stay in our lane and obey the command that God has given us marriage is this great thing this great shelter that we can find ourselves hiding in to protect us from that heinous those festering boils of sexual immorality God knows what is the remedy to it and he knows exactly how you should apply it so just keep that in mind Lord I thank you for marriage I thank you for the great gift that has been in my life I thank you for your grace toward me and the favor that you’ve shown me in giving me a wonderful godly wife and I thank you for the same for all these men in here all the men in here the men of our church the women of our church for giving them godly husbands I pray that you would help us to be a people who hold marriage and we esteem it as the Hebrews writer says that we hold it in honor and we cherish and we value it for the great gift that it is Lord I pray that you would help us to cultivate Christ-like and healthy biblical marriages that they would influence our culture that they would influence our children I thank you for the covenant blessings of it Lord I thank you for it I thank you for just how you use it and work in it I just pray that you would make us a church filled with whether we’re married Lord or unmarried we are zealous and eager to follow your prescription and Lord I just pray that you would guard our church from sexual immorality that you would preserve us from it preserve us from the stain of it Lord preserve us from the consequences Lord let us not offend you Lord I pray that you would strengthen us that you would keep us Lord we just worship your name on the Lord’s day we just bless you Lord Jesus Amen